I often write of solitude as I know it well.
Who is rash enough to live in a world full of those they only merely know?
I do not find this courage easily
and it becomes increasingly difficult as I grow up,
as I change into the lady I think I should be.
Expectations have a way of leading me on,
they coax me into false entitlement,
they whisper sweetly into my ear
and I am lured into that familiar trap.
I live in a world that may not exist,
a place buried deep in the mind of strangers,
to a point of disappearing altogether.
The sometimes unexplainable love I have for life
somehow will not justify the reality.
Your words make me wonder,
they weave in and out of my dreams in the dark,
they are a cacophonous blend of sounds.
Where would you end were I to begin again?
I find myself lost in the tangle of time,
roaming this starry expanse with nowhere to finish.
Do I fall into that uncomfortable chaos
or reside here in this perfect stillness?
Would I wander aimlessly into the future
as my heart tells me to hold onto that fleeting second?
Life may be defined by how far-reaching one’s affections are,
yet I am profoundly dazed.
I am lost, I am retired.